Feeling nice

Tonight, I went to MPH bookstore, Subang Parade after taking my dinner. At there, I found a few interesting books, Modern China, China Style, The Chinese Garden, and Japanese Garden Design. All are about China and Japan. Actually, for me, there is a strong relationship between Chinese life and Japanese life, lying based on the ancient history. Still, there are a lot of similarities between these two cultures.

Wonder why I read those books? This is because of my adoration to Chinese style, Japanese life and maybe my conviction to the beauty of these two cultures. Without denying the beauty of other cultures, the aesthetics of these two cultures are much more easily to touch my heart and evoke my senses. Maybe it is because I am a Chinese. Honestly, I do not know much about Japanese, and even Chinese. This is because there lies a very long history behind them. A very beautiful history.

I did not actually read those books due to the lack of time (approaching 10pm when the bookstore will be closed). I just "scanned" the pictures in those books. Enjoying the pleasure of appreciating the beauty and aesthetics of Chinese and Japanese, I felt so excited yet comfortable. Besides, i felt the impulse to renovate my room (like what has been done by Dave) to become modern chinese style. But, my dream won't come true la, i think. It will only be reality when i become an architect ^_^ . And I realized that I really like reading, to gain knowledge and perceive senses, but not to study for tests -_-''' . And I do really like history (especially Chinese and Japanese history), to know the origin, identity and way of life, instead of memorize the context deadly for tests.

Today is a nice day. Reading, like meditation, brings the comfort of life, the spirits of soul, the senses of living. ^_^

(I have the strong desire to buy books in MPH, but the prices are really scaring. Any good suggestions? Don't tell me to on9 look for the info I want, this will be tiring. Holding a book and read is much better than read in internet. Don't you think so?)

Tell me why

*Just finished sitting for history of architecture test, feeling bad... waiting for KTM train...*

I used to be a very patient person.

Long period sinking in hectic life...
addicting to materialistic joys...
suffering from stress and pressure of studies...
obeying to reality...

Good behaviors nurtured in childhood is being corrupted. I become easily angry and egoistic, release my stress and pressure on my friends around me without consciusness. It is not hard to imagine that i am immature.

Study... I know the purpose of study. It is to learn and perceive that which was, that which is and that which will be that beyond my knowledge. And, study, is supposed to be a process, not a result, not an aim. I am trying not to mind too much about academic results (i am not a person 'menggila-gilakan' marks). But, in reality, i have to further my education oversea by possessing good result (nowadays, good result almost equal to high marks). No marks, no result, no guarantee... All become so fake.

For another instance, an artistic, charmful and aweful building is built based on a story, principle, theory or philosophy. For public, for most of the people, who cares the story behind the building as long as it satisfies the lust of eyes.

Suddenly, i am desperate to look for someone who understands me, and stands beside me. Not greedy for long lasting period, but just a short moment. I remember the "sigh" of a Chinese modernist calligrapher Gu Gan:

I walked the ancient road alone,
chilled to the bone,
Then suddenly i have the delight of seeing you.
( I write, but no one seems to understand. How nice it is to meet you, as you are someone who does. )

Reminiscense

Today, i was a bit sad because the T-shirt gifted by someone was 'coloured' into yellow after being washed by the stupid washing machine.

After taking rest for more than 10 hours after Penang trip, i was still desired to take a nap in the afternoon. But, i didn't really take a nap because my brain din't stop from refreshing the memories of past events (mainly during my secondary school life).

I don't know where is the source of impulse bringing me into the pleasure of reminicense and nostalgia of the past. Maybe it has been a long time i didn't meet them. Maybe i have put in too much of myself into architecture course. Maybe i have forgotten my friends. Or maybe they have forgotten me..... Whatever.

A lot of the past events suddenly came to my mind. When we are grabbing the dropping basketball (lan jxxo, give me back...). When we are 'shooting' each other in Counter Strike game in cyber cafe (follow me... stick together team... roger that...). When we are studying together before tests (wei, i heard that Mr.xxx taught a lot about the 5th chapter in the next class...)
I remembered that i liked two girls and then i loved (loved. or love?) a girl in my secondary school. Fate decides my life, causing changes from the running parallel lines into the intersection of two lines. I don't know is consequence important or not. At least, i met HERs and HIMs.

Life is so beautiful, giving opportunities to perceive more...
Moments of pleasure are so short, leaving regrets and 'sigh's after enjoying...
Reality is so cruel, commanding us to 'obey rules' from being dropped out...

The key...??... is to cherish every moment.

Escaping from complexity

life becomes tiring and unpredictable. feel lost and down.

whatever.


---similar to jet

Valentine's

It's already 25 hours and 42minutes from the end of Valentine's day. I spent my whole day of 14Feb in my house in Tg.Malim.
A tought came to my mind...

...

Idling around her, shows my continuity of love, symbolising the bind to her as well. My acts became unnecessary. Too much concern and care made my existence to be a burden of her life. Maybe it is not noticeable, but it does exist. So, i let go. I can word. Can i do?
I wonder am i a terrible guy.
...


Of course i don idle around "her" (in picture).

Sorry

Sorry that my last blog may be offensive. And it was the first time for me being so rude ib blog. Sorry, but really suffering negative emotion that time. Now i am ok.

13 Feb was a bad day , but it was neutralised by the good events at night. So, totally, 13 Feb was a nice day, because the day is my friend Wen Liang's birthday (it was described well in JET's blog). We have had fun in Gerald's house, organising small party, steambot, chatting, joking, pepsi-cola game, pouring water on each other, drenching coke or beer, throwing cake or eggs, etc. ^_^ The situation just like the bullet-flying scenery in Matrix trilogy... unbelievable... although i tried to do some actions like Neo, but still, splashed by water. But watak utama, Wen Liang got beer, cake, water, vanilla-coke, etc. Haha.

FUCK
Today is really a fucking mad day. Unfuckingbelievably, i was getting mad facing the fucking autocad 3D and the lecturer. Fuck off. He is damn 'geng', but i don't think he teaches nicely. He thought all students are clever, intelligent, smart, etc meh!?
Now, have to rush for working drawing, after four hours facing pc during autocad period. Architecture is nice to explore, architecture course is tough n tiring.

I am going to release the pressure here a while. This blog is going to be deleted.

A tired day

Today is a tired day. My energy ran dry. I have done most parts of my studio model in workshop. I had to do that eventhough the submission date is on next Tuesday. It is because this weekend i am going back to hometown where there is no space like workshop to do drilling with machine, cutting with saw, etc stuff.

And i have work hard in the workshop until my friends wondered what is going wrong on me. I am sure that they thought "why so BOK wow? Still got time what?" Anywhere, i was really stressed around the time because i encountered problems in making my model. Anywhere, i have done most of it already. ^_^ . I think i can do it better if there is more time for me. Due to the lack of time and my effort to "rush" as fast as possible, my model doesn't come out nicely. Anywhere, at the moment i did the 80% of entire model which i planned to do before, i felt so great. Feeling that i was great, the model is great, and i almost laughed like "MUAHAHA...".

I haven't thought the title for my model. The model is telling about my life, showing my style of life. Contradiction, complexity, conviction, belief of Chinese... On the other hand, i am suffering the thirst of geting simplicity and purity. The model is mainly contributed by lines.

...

I am a person who is not easy to feel satisfied with surrounding events. I like to criticize and give lots of comments. I think my behavior caused some of my friends feel not comfortable with me. It is sad. Anywhere, i always criticize the real things, with no bad effort to offend my friends. Criticize becomes a habit to me. Maybe it is the opposite impact of my desire to reach dream-like imaginery and escape from reality. And, when i found that i was failed, still being in reality which consists of cruelty, i started to criticizing those i thought were bad. Sorry if i offended my friends. Any guidance or advice for me? You are welcome to guide me or accompany me. And i really appreciate your advice.

* I speak what i want to tell, i do what is supposed to be done, i go where the destination is. *

Balance?

Some said there is a steelyard symbolising balance in our daily life. Work is on the right arm of the steelyard; while rest is on the left arm. For healthy, one should keep the steelyard balanced. Try not to work too hard throughout a night. If you do, please take more rest. Compromise is needed although it is reluctantly compensated. More weight should be gained in one side when another one is forced.

(Taylor's zone: Studying VS holiday. I think there are too many holidays for "Taylorian". I wonder is it worth to spend RM7000++ per semester. And, I am not rich what. -_-''' . Besides, we will have a lot of rest when we reach 55. So, there is no necessary for us to be "lazy" so much.)

Talking about the ancient great achieve of Chinese philosophy, Yin & Yang, the image of "Tai Ji" come to our mind. Does anyone really go through or understand the word "Tai Ji"? It means "extreme". White and black colors represent two very different and opposite things or utmost. One white dot is in black side; and one black dot is in opposite white side. Although dots are little in quantity, they become the impurities that are mixed in both sides that supposed to be "perfect" white and black. The entire image tells there is no pure black or pure white, there is no absolute extremism. Or, in meaning, the words "extreme", "perfect" and "pure" should not exist. But, in speaking tones, of course they exist. Primitively, everything in this world exists in harmonic, co-ordinate and co-existing balance, without conflict.

About a white dot in pure black or a black dot in pure white, there is a good example for elaborating the meanings behind (isi tersirat). For example, there is the controversy of lesbian or gay. They are like the dots, inevitably being the small quantity, exist among human beings. There is no right, nor wrong. Just all are in harmony if there is no discrimination and prejudice.

*Poor blog… ^_^""" . Anywhere, cheers.*